Faith & Encouragement., Healthy Living.

Dear Body,

Last week I made my first appointment for acupuncture. I am excited and cannot wait to do something relaxing for my body. I plan on documenting the journey using acupuncture to reset my body after loss and improve how I allow stress to affect me.

I laid awake that night thinking about the amazing things my body has done for me. I thought about how this was an opportunity to give back to my body and thank it for being so resilient. I laid awake dreaming up this letter to my body. This letter is true to how I feel and a genuine expression of gratitude for the amazing journey we have been on. When is the last time you actually acknowledge what you’ve put yourself through and what your body has overcome?

Dear Body, 
I wanted to take the time for all of the incredible things you have stuck with me through. You kind of had no choice I guess, but I am amazed at your resiliency. 

I suppose I should start by thanking you for getting us through the teenage years. The years in and well beyond high school that included crash diets of spinach and green tea in an effort to “clear up my skin”. The days of cinnamelts from McDonalds, 3 at a time and eating salad the rest of the day. What was I thinking?!

Then were the days of restrict and binge. You remember, sometime around 20 and 21 where I would “diet” throughout the week and then completely stuff my face on the weekends. Let’s be honest, my diet was McDonalds grilled chicken wraps, yogurt, and protein bars. Then 21 brought alcohol. Mmmm hhmmm, it was far from a health way of life. It’s highly likely you were starving, which is probably why we hit our highest weight. Restrict like a little rabbit during the week, binge on the weekend. Yeah, I don’t miss those days.Ooooooooo, then there were the competition days. Oooooh body, I know you haven’t forgotten those days. The 2 and a half year journey of “what the hell was I thinking?!” Really expensive rhinestone bikinis and being, well, a tad bit obsessive about my food and maybe a little too skinny. Okay, too skinny. Don’t get me wrong, they are the days that actually saved us from the restrict and binge diet days, so they were actually life changing. The thing I think about most is how HARD I was on you. At your tannest, leanest, most fit-self, I still nitpicked the “flaws”. I was still overly judgmental of you, body. I was so hard on you in the quest for perfection, whatever that was.

We can agree, the competition days were a much needed journey, but a time of way too many “rules” and a lot of judgement. Those days led me to understanding how to fuel you and how nutrition played such a big role in how you functioned. I learned which foods helped me with my anxiety, my acne, and energy. I learned so much about how to nourish and energize you. A learning process I am still going through.

Your resiliency shined this past August when we took on our first miscarriage. A little tough, am I right?! You went from being pregnant, to complete loss and emotional turmoil. The last thing on my mind was proper fuel and nutrition for you. You were resilient, you healed, you kept me moving. Moving straight in to the holidays and finally overcoming the emotional struggles inside.Right as we started to get in motion again this January, another pregnancy blessing came. February was filled with probably a little too much fear, mixed with excitement, and a whole lot of crackers. Body you are so strong and smart. Something wasn’t right and our little one went on to grow little wings after 8 weeks. Another difficult loss. Again, you shined. You were resilient. Recovering from another loss, a surgery, and the 5 boxes of brownies I consumed in a week.

Body, you are resilient and I don’t thank you enough for the amazing things you have pushed through. You have survived so many obstacles, been fueled on only protein bars and green tea at times, and still you are resilient. Still you operate like the beautiful machine you are. Still… still you move me through some of the most difficult times and you always respond when I nourish and love you.

Right now, we have a few boxes of brownies to put behind us, there are a few yoga classes we should put to use, and my plan is to continue to nourish you, thank you, and keeping pressing on. I will continue to trust God and you that you know what you are doing. Thank you!

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