Meltdown turned moment of clarity! Ever had one of those meltdown moments? Driving to work, stuck in traffic, your phone is blowing up? Maybe you have a dream you’ve been working diligently on and struggling, trying to be patient and wait on God’s plan? Okay, welp I had all of that… in one morning!
There were tears… there was disappointment… there was frustration… there was even a little bit of snotty nose. At the time, I didn’t even know how to answer Nick’s question, “what happened? What’s wrong?” because I truly didn’t know. All I knew was that I was overwhelmed.
Well, after the tears dried and the snotty nose wiped away, I reflected. I realized my overwhelm that morning stemmed from something completely in my control, how I was allowing others to treat me. You see, I am a people pleaser, I want everyone to not only be happy, but to be a better human because I helped in some way. Because of my “people pleasing”, I sometimes struggle to create healthy emotional boundaries.
I love people, it is a strength, but it can also become a weakness when I LOVE PEOPLE too much to the point where I neglect to check in with myself or my giving spirit gets taken advantage of. The “yes” girl inside me, wants to say yes to every. single. opportunity that floats my way. And, I also feel every emotion. There are times when I jump at the opportunity to help someone who may have not respected my time in the past… and when I jump to help, I am often let down because of false hopes that “this time will be different.” I feel the emotion of disappointment on high levels!
Sometimes I over commit because I say “yes!” and I am let down when other things in my life get neglected. Sometimes I am afraid to leap after my dreams, because I am so worried about what the others around me might think.
So why do I share this? I share this to present a moment of clarity I had. I realized, that I had let a weakness… my “yes-ness” and my lack of establishing boundaries in my circle, create emotional stress and internal turmoil.
I realized sometimes I need to check in with myself first and make sure my emotional well being is in check…. and not be worried “is this selfish of me?” Not only for the sake of myself, but for the sake of my husband who just wants to see me fully alive! I do believe my husband and supportive friends, deserve the BEST of me, not the rest of me!! You know what I mean?!?
My point is, we become what we tolerate and people are going to respect us at the extent that we respect ourselves. It is okay to love, give, and pour in to others. In fact, that’s what I think the world needs more of! However, I feel that it is necessary to be more conscious of who is surrounding us in our journey. It’s important to set healthy emotional boundaries. It is important to make sure our closest circle of influence is not only supportive, accepting, and encouraging. It is also important to love, give, and pour into OURSELVES at the same rate, if not more, that we are filling others!
It was difficult for me to share this post, but I felt like I needed to share the struggles. I am learning to stop chasing things that hold me back. I am taking an inventory on what helps me grow, what makes me feel joy, what propels me forward on my mission to empower women in the world to love life and be joyful! If I am neglecting myself and not establishing how people should respect me or my time, how on earth can I inspire other women to do the same?
I am a firm believer that life is about being, not trying. I just want to BE… Be Myself, BE empowered, BE healthy, BE an inspiration, BE full of life! I no longer want to TRY at anything! I want to do it, fully, 100% commitment. Along the way, I am learning to let go of needing the acceptance of others. Sometimes we must get protective of ourselves and consider what we allow… the information we allow to flow through our brains, the food we allow to flow through our body, the friendships we allow to impact us… we are a direct reflection of what we allow!
So cheers to checking in with ourselves… cheers to living life authentically us… cheers to creating a circle of empowerment! Cheers to not only focusing on our outward health, but focusing on our emotional health and personal growth too! *Clink, clink, clink*
Until next time…